i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
