She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
