Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
