I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
a search helicopter?!
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Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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