Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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