I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dear god my vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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