dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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