Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
