Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize