I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
