yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
