your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
