It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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