oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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