ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
