UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
