This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
