I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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