I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just googled if crying burns calories
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
