If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
