i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
