I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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