if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
