I heard we made out
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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