The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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