thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I faked an abortion last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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