Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
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my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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