You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
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Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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