i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
