Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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