About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
