porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
