If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
