So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
