"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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