That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
