yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize