My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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