So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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