P.S. I can't hear my feet
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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