So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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