So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize