Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
