I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
