i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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