I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
