I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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