we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
