Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
As shirtless as possible
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
