i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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