he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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