i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
