found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize