my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
