i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize