Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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